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Post by Warren Peace on Oct 29, 2009 11:44:56 GMT -5
Thirding!!
Warren: BUT NO MORE EFFIN' WEIRD AL.
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Post by Macaria on Oct 29, 2009 15:55:37 GMT -5
FOURTHING!!
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Post by somechick on Nov 6, 2009 11:29:03 GMT -5
Dear diary,
I hate my job. Really, I do. I felt saddened that I would be leaving Hawaii, even if it was for only a few weeks. I knew of course that I’d come back and we'd all have a happy ending, yada, yada. I couldn’t possibly leave my family here, at least not permanently. Mr. Jameson had requested for my company, to join him a bit. This could only mean one thing - a promotion. Well, I hope! Can't be too optimisitc here, but a dose of it can't hurt you that much if you're still a tinsy bit aware that something could go wrong, right?
Oh, let me tell you a bit about him. I'm just running my pen here, thougthlessly, without much of an idea of where I'm going. He's pretty handsome for a fourty-something year old guy, nice red-head with a lot of air in it. He's like this wannabe Hawaiian, throwing leis around people's necks like it's Christmas! And declaring that he is merging right into the Ohana Hospitality deal. It's nice he's into the whole thing, but I feel that people who aren't from Hawaii tend to exaggerate our closeness to each other.
We have loads of family sayings, like, HO'OKAHI MAKAMAKA O KO ALOHA (Our love begins the union of our life together), E LEI KAU, E LEI HO'OILO I KE ALOHA (love is worn like a wreath through the summers and winters; love is everlasting), whatever...but that doesn't mean we're all love-huggling dopes dressed in Hula skirts all the time.
This guy makes us Hawaiians look ridiculous! He came in wearing a Hula skirt in the morning and pulled me outta the shower just to give me a hug! O ke aloha ka'iu (love is paradise), he'd sigh bringing his little son Keoni over to swoon over my already-taken-bisexual Auntie Pleakley. Poor kid doesn't know he's in love with Jumba. I'm not stupid, It's pretty darn obvious. Oh, and Lilo's gotten over Keoni too. Honestly, I'm glad Lilo did. He's too, uh, old for her. I'm sure that when Lilo hits that perfect age, she'll find Mr. Right.
And I'll be right behind him with a frying pan. One smack and he's out!
Anyway...back to the whole I'm-leaving-trip-thing. I know Jumba and Pleakley will assure Lilo's safety, sometimes I'm not sure, though. So I put Quasimodo and Ling in charge. Did I tell you about the newest addition to our family? I found this kid all alone, stranded in the middle of nowhere in a tent. He seemed lost, so I took him in. And so far he's been pretty helpful. Sure, he uses the phone when I'm not around, calls up random people, makes them cry because he called them fat....
Ling's still great to have around. And because we don't have another bed, he occupies mine. How many times has this kid throttled me across the room in my sleep? Zzzz, ffooosshh, zzzz, hiyah! <--- that's how he sleeps, and I always end up sleeping in the couch every night. It's small, but better than being kicked off and causing a giant earthquake.
Speaking of which, I'm gonna go ahead and take the time to rant about how nobody ever believes me. I recall talking to Hades once, questioning him about this kid who's been killing everybody. Turns out a friend of mine, Clopin, adopted this child. And even though I have a library of evidence pertainting to this multi-colored, oreo-like lolo being a back stabbing creep, he just can't see past his nose...literally! She's but a child, Nani! NYAHNYAHNYAAAAAHHHH!
I'm trying to rescue his unsightly ass for once, and the guy has the nerve to just - just - just...JUST! NEEUGGGHHH! If his brain was as big as his sex drive, he'd be on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire and win it ten times over! You know what? I don't care.
Yeah.
I don't care.
He can go get BBQ'd by Meli-ho for all I care.
Let's see how long he stays oblivious to this little angel.
If Clopin was here, I'd so give him the finger right now.
Fin.
Additional note(s) to Clopin:
When you dirty talk, you make me wanna clean your mouth with soap. And guess what? You sound like you makeout with balloons. Yeah, I went there! PFFFTT! *RASPBERRIES* LAY OFF THE DAMN HELIUM!
How Clop talks:  |
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Post by Quasimodo on Nov 6, 2009 13:50:24 GMT -5
Clop: But i was. .. wasn`t i? Oh and btw nani, you need not be so judgemental with Meli, she`s a child with abusive parents.. she`s not a creep, just traumatized. *ends of Clop`s note.* Someone is gonna have their nonexistant ass on a stake in the ruins of COM.. Anywho, great chappie.  |
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Post by Hades on Nov 6, 2009 16:00:19 GMT -5
Meli: *hugs Clop* DX I'M NOT EVIL! I'M JUST A KID!!! .......*smirks at Nani behind Clop's back*
Mwahaha.
LMFAO, great chapter... ^^
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Post by Warren Peace on Nov 6, 2009 16:05:52 GMT -5
Wren: CLOP, YOU FRIGGIN MORON!!! *hides behind Maci*
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Post by foxiliscious on Nov 6, 2009 18:16:59 GMT -5
LOLED hard at this line! XPPPPP I can so see Nani getting up in Clop's grill and saying that in that seldom ghetto way of her's (Ex: "AT LEAST A RABBIT WOULD BEHAVE BETTAH DAN YOU!") Loved the addition all the way. You're such a great writer. <3 *humps*
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Post by somechick on Nov 7, 2009 11:10:45 GMT -5
Thank you Hades, Quasi, Warren, and Foxy! HAHAHA! I love you all! Your comments make my day. XDDD Now for the next entry.
WARNING: CONTAINS SOME ADULT MATERIAL!
Before I start it out by saying Dear Diary, I just wanna say this song expresses just what I saw that day. You'll understand this soon....
Mother...-sucks thumb-
Dear Diary,
I was just coming over to give Warren these cookies I made for him...
When suddenly....
I saw Warren with Macaria on the bed, nuzzling each other with such tenderness. They were having an innocent moment it seemed. Typical teenage cuddling - they weren't unclothed - thankfully. So it just had to be one of those times, you know? Just a hug and a kiss and that's it.
My eyes widened in surprise; it was all but a subtle moment, and I dodged behind the bushes with my pink plate of colorful cookies sprawled about. My lips parted lightly, as if I wanted to speak but failed miserably to form any words and was forced to simply breathe.When I at last managed gather an actual reaction to all this, I was greeted with a cat. Oh, no. Corbie.
The curious furball sniffed my plate. I gave some of my baked goods to her with a reluctant air. I couldn't throw them away, and thankfully they were soft to chew, so I was certain she had no problem eating them. It was like a silent exchange. "Since I gave you my cookies," I cooed tenderly, "you're not gonna blow my cover, are you?" I sort of gained her acceptance as she rubbed her furry cheek against my chubby ankle. I smiled warmly. Warren's loss.
After an hour of playing with the mischevious pet that was Corbie, I noticed there were still two cookies left for the lovebirds. Maybe I could surprise them! Yeah, I could maybe make their date a lot funner with these treats. Excited, I jumped upright like a bunny rabbit and peered into the window with wide, curious eyes. I grinned happily, about to utter a few words of encourgement until ...
Squeak, squeak, squeaaakk...
I tilted my plate down allowing the contents to slip onto the grass, stunned. What the...
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I stood there turning green at the sight. I fell on my bottom happy they did not notice me there; I'm just too disgusted to react, really. Did they take my damn advice as a green light to go at it like bunny rabbits in the mating season? How could they - Warren - Macaria?
Ew! Ew! Get it out! Get it out! Warren's peen, it's just UP there! GROSS! Geebus, is it Christmas already? And here I thought it was too early to set up trees!
Mt. Olympus has risen to greater heights, I tell yah. Pun intended.
Their bodies merging together in a violent sort of love-fest. I could feel the walls quivering against my back and the sounds, the sounds! I curled up in a fetal position on the grass, clinging to my little pink plate, so traumatized. The image of her glowing frame was eating away my mind! GROSS! Macaria's pink butt glowing on the verge of an orgasm is not an image I want entering my mind. But the fact that Warren was giving it light, little smacks of approval made me want to saw myself in half! What the hell?!
Corbie seemed to suffer my emotions as clear as daylight, for she was rolling on the grass in a traumatized manner. Smart cat. I clutched Corbie close to my chest and stroked her fur, embarrassed beyond all reason.
"Corbie," I said meekly, "if I lose my virginity some day, I hope my lover doesn't sound anything like Warren..."
What Nani heard as Warren neared an orgasm:
In conclusion....
I need to find that chastity belt of mine....
(I never wanna see a naked man again)
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Post by Will Stronghold on Nov 7, 2009 12:38:25 GMT -5
*screams of laughter*
Wren: *ish mortified for life* GET OFFA MY LAWN!!!! *attempts to cover up*
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Post by kawena on Nov 7, 2009 12:59:40 GMT -5
Chi - chiki boom! Chi - chiki boom!
I LOVE YOUR NEWEST UPDATES!
TE QUIERO!
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Post by foxiliscious on Nov 7, 2009 13:08:30 GMT -5
ROFLMFAO!! This fic keeps up its epic pwnage. XPPPP I can just see her freaking out.
Teh Claudia= WIN! <3
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Post by Hades on Nov 7, 2009 14:53:20 GMT -5
LMFAOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maci won't come out of her room now.....way to go, Nani. XDDDDDDD HAHA...
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Post by Quasimodo on Nov 7, 2009 18:30:50 GMT -5
Clop: *twitches* --- The chastity belt.. *whimpers* ;-; i PROMISE you pain in the nearest furture for this.. *glares at him and Maci sulkingly*
XDDDDDD Great chapter Nani... * adds to the char*.. but what did you think lovers usually do? Play chess?
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Post by somechick on Nov 13, 2009 18:29:06 GMT -5
 Dear Diary, No longer do I have to write to a fuzzy old book. I discovered something called Livejournal! It's so useful, and I no longer have to hide my diary from my little sister, Lilo. I can prevent users from reading my stuff with a password. This is totally awesome. Insert a password and you're all set? If only life was this simple. This is good news 'cause now I don't really have to worry about Lilo invading my privacy. Phew! But that's not the only thing that's got me so chipper; you see, I got us free tickets to Disney World! Rock-a-hula! I pretty much invited all my friends, and we're gonna stay there for a few days, so you can say this is sort of like a series. You'll be hearing about lots and lots of things. Like where I'm at, how I'm doing, what am I doing.... I'm glad I'm getting out of this joint. I live in paradise, need to leave it. This was a perfect example of how I felt: Now I'm free! Huu-haaaa! Speaking of which, I gotta run. I hear Jim calling me. Looks like we're about to take lift off. See yah! P.S. Ling looks a little creeped out. He's never gone flying before. Lilo was kind enough, however, to give him a hand. This is how it went basically: Lilo - "If you're scared, just hold on to my hand. I promise you won't get cooties. Nani made me take a bath two times this morning because I went mud wrestling with Stitch again, then punched Myrtle's face in." Ling - "I'm not scared..." It's just a plane, Ling. --- [TBC] |
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Post by cale on Nov 15, 2009 19:47:38 GMT -5
SISSY HUT!
HOW DID I JUST FIND THIS NOW ?! *HAPPYGASMS*
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Jun 22, 2020 17:45:59 GMT -5
Jun 22, 2020 17:45:59 GMT -5