Need To Rant >_>

[lingybear19]

So what made me pissed off?

I dunno...maybe just people who don't know how to lay off and keep their friggin mouth shut. So basically, I have a weight training class at the end of the day (I was home schooled freshman year for disclosed reasons and need another gym credit--believe me, it wasn't voluntary.) Nonetheless, I can stand to shed about ten or fifteen lbs so I've been pushing myself to work harder, sans for today when I was kinda of wiped out.

So towards the end of the class, I'm just sort of lying on the floor, skipping out on the crunches when this total horse's ass is standing nearby and staring at me, typically smirking. I stare back for a while and--let's just call him Bill--Bill's like, "What?" over and over before I finally say (monotonous, naturally), "Stop watching me." He proceeds to snicker and murmur crap like, "I'm just surprised by how little you do."

Yup, that's me. 7th period entertainment for this phony.

I've known this kid a few years and he's notorious for being an asshat to the thin span of "weirdos", but before a brief argument last week, he hadn't really acknowledged me and now he never gives me a moment's break. From then on, it's always, "*snort* You're not working out hard enough. I'm amazed by how you barely do anything." or "What the frig are trying to do? That's not how the move goes, kid." "What's this? What are you doing? *imitates my gestures* What was that?" And of course, Bill's laughing like a moron so it's NOT constructive criticism. I know he's targeting me because I never say anything to most people and therefore, the tool thinks he can just run his mouth.

He's also homophobic from the constant gay jokes he makes in class so that's another sting for somebody like me who's bisexual.

Although I lack confidence as most shy peeps do and suffer from paranoia to a fair extent, I'm not entirely defenseless. I do know how to stick up for myself and have a few other friends in the class, the closest being a junior named Ashley. She was trying to send the d-bag away with a few jabs here and there, calling him a prick and loser, etc. but it's like no matter what we say, whether we play his game, ignore him or not, everything's a freaking farce with him. Does he even have a life? Is that what he just thrives off of--picking on people, particularly the quiet ones like me who don't really give two shits about the social ladder and are just trying to get out of this hellhole for good? I know I'm never going to see him and the rest of the idiots ever again come summer, but it just seriously ticks me off.

After about seven or so years, I think I know quite well that I'm not perfect, pretty, or talkative. In all honesty, I don't care--I can take knowing that I'm awkward looking as long as I maintain some depth underneath. More or less, I've accepted my eccentricity and I really don't need to be reminded of my other faults by a schmuck like Bill. He honestly needs to mind his own business and stay the heck away because if he keeps provoking me, I'm really gonna just haul off and kick him in the jewels. It's my last year, I've had enough.

Anyway, this rant was longer than I meant for it to be, but bleh.
__________________

[somechick]

I know what you mean, man.
When I was in highschool, I had bullies who'd do the very same to me.
It was like a constant battlefield everyday, no break at all. And no matter what
I did, they'd come back twice as strong. It was like, dude, fuck off! But they never did.
Now that I'm in college, it's not as bad as in highschool....

When you finish school, you'll find life will get a lot brighter. -hugs-

[Peter Pan]

Oh Ling, I am so sorry.
People can be cruel but I think the best thing you can do, is be the better person and hold your head up high and ignore them. Like Nani, I also know what you mean as I'm very small and can get teased for it. It was a lot worse when I was younger, as children like to point out obsurities.

We are so similar in being shy and lacking confidence! I get a little paranoid at times too! I always worry too much about what I've said and what I've not said. It does give me a headache. I fully believe you can stand up for yourself, but make sure that if you do, to not go to their level. Bullies are pitiful and lame, and only do it to feel better about themselves. If it does get really bad, you should tell someone, but if not then just ignore them and show them you don't really care what they think because you know in your heart that you're stronger, nicer, and an all round better person than they are.

We are all here for you, and love you if you need to talk more about it.

*huggles*

[ron]

GGRRRR I swear if I lived near you I would friggin beat the shit out of that guy for you! I cannot tolerate bullying on ANY level especially if it comes from friggin twats like that!

KICK HIM IN THE JEWELS LING!! DO IT!

we're here for ya bud okay

[foxiliscious]

Thanks guys. <3 I appreciate the kind words. *huggles* Life just really is a bitch sometimes. =/

[emily]

Oh not good, Ling. The thing with bullies is, they're the ones that are looking pathetic and dumb for feeling the need to pick on other people just to make themselves feel better. So, at the end of the day, remember that you are the better person, like everyone else has said here, and they are the losers. I know it's hard to ignore them because they're hurtful, but I know you're strong enough to get through that. And you'll look back feeling proud and laughing at those dickheads when it's all over.

In school, I was far from the skinniest thing on the block and this one guy would call me Tankarse. But, this guy... he had a drooping lip, so I knew he was picking on me to make himself feel not so self-conscious. So I know how you feel and I really hope it's all over soon because bullying is hell to go through *hugs*

A quote always comes to me when I think about how life is hard: "The hardest thing in this world… is to live in it" and God, is that true. I know you'll hang in there and come out a way better person xx

[poca]

I wish you all the best Ling and I completely agree with everyone else's comments. You can't face the rest of the world unless you can respect yourself.

My boyfriend is a little on the overweight side and he is constantly heckled (playfully) for it. He has talked about losing weight, and I keep telling him that he should only do it if it is something he wants to do. I keep telling him: "As long as you are healthy and happy, that's all that matters to me." I will love him no matter what he does, but the choices have to be his alone.