{MY LIFE} as a Teenage Pyro [Warren Peace's Diary]

[violetparr]

Reading this entry I've learned that it hurts when laughing and coughing mix together. perfect every chapter, not kidding!

[Warren Peace]

Entry 13

[Translated from Mandarin]

… What happened?

Is it a coincidence that this is number 13? Does it just go to show how unlucky I am?

I just don’t know…

But why’d it happen? Why now? And out of all the girls in the world, it’s with her!

I am SO STUPID.

She’s a f****** goddess! I’m a mortal, aging every day, limited number of heartbeats, susceptible to deadly injury… What’s the point, anyway?

I’m so worried that it shows. I’m loose around her, and she makes it hard to keep my guard up… What if I say something that gives me away? Should I tell her at all? I don’t want to ruin anything… She’s fun around me, but I don’t think she feels the same. If I tell her, will I just make things awkward? I don’t want to give her any pressure or ultimatums… I just want to hang out with her. Be her friend. We are friends, but now I’m afraid I’m going to let something slip. It’s hard to make my words come out right when she’s there.

It’s so wrong. I want to stop and forget about it, but at the exact same time I’m miserable if I try to push these feelings aside. She’s in my head, dancing right out of my grasp. I know I want her, but I shouldn’t. It makes no sense.

Could it happen, though? If I could somehow change, and just… not die? Would she consider me? I wish I could just point out to her how much we have in common, just talk to her without having to watch what I say, maybe touch her… she’s one of the only people I know who I can’t burn.

Just… this is insane. I’m insane. I don’t even know what I’m doing, if this is the real thing I’m always reading about, or if this is just another one of those stupid little crushes that pop up every now and then. If it is, then it’s a real idiotic one – I started trying to draw her! I’m acting like a girl.

What the hell is wrong with me?

[Hades]

I read the first four sentences and then locked Macaria in another room so thank me. ^.^

Hehe. Great entry. Poor Warren.

'Least it'll have a happy ending... <3333

[Warren Peace]

Entry 14

Vampires hypnotized the masses.
Guinea pigs own my free will.
This strange reality clashes
When I want things calm and still.

Somebody help me… Maj owns my soul.

I was just reading in study hall. I dunno how the hell she even knew what book it was. I’d replaced the jacket with something much more manly, one of the thicker volumes of Harry Potter. But she takes a seat at my table (what is it with her and a lack of respect for personal space?) and she swipes my book right out of my hands. Then, before I could start yelling at her, she slides the jacket off and waves the spine in front of my face.

Fine. I admit it. It was New Moon.

Lookit, I was trying to understand why the hell girls across the nation are going completely rabid whenever they hear the word “Edward”, not nurse an unhealthy obsession for sparkly vampires. So I read the first book, but I kinda got… intrigued, so I started the second one, and the third and fourth are waiting for me back home… I swear I’m not obsessed. I’m just trying to understand this whole pop culture addiction so I don’t get lost in translation when the cheerleading squad starts catfighting between Team Edward and Team Jacob. Plus, I heard a rumor floating around that the dance committee was going to give a Twilight theme to the next school fling. Yeah, the male species is kinda scared.

So Maj takes my book away and she’s got this ‘I’m gonna tell the whole student body your dirty little secret’ kind of smirk on her face. And the thing is, she would. It’s so ironic she turns into a rodent, ‘cuz she can be the most cynical bitch I’ve ever met. She makes me beg, so after about five or six “please don’t”s she says that I have to go shopping with her to clear my debt. I almost screamed. Debt? More like blackmail.

So now she’s all set to tote me around the mall on Saturday. I can’t even try to escape, ‘cuz she says that she can smell me out like a… well, an animal. And apparently, I smell like wood smoke, cologne, and sweet-and-sour chicken. Freaky guinea pig sidekick…

[Hades]

Maci: *growls and flares* I thought I told you to get rid of that!!!

XDDD Great chapter....that's hilarious. Who woulda thought Warren would like Twilight? XDDDD

[~Elisa Maza~]

*just started reading this today*

It's all wonderful! I can't wait for more!

[Warren Peace]

Entry 15

It’s hard to put emotion in a verse,
Just a few short lines,
When your mind threatens
To open its floodgates and augment this page
With tears of that uncertain emotion,
Each sparkling dewdrop of your pain hardly knowing
Whether you shed it out of sorrow,
Or anger,
Or shame,
Or joy.

I’m not sure what to write.

I just hope that no one sees this, ever. Maybe I’ll rip this page out and burn it later. I couldn’t write in Mandarin, since the casts make even my English barely legible. Mandarin characters are a disaster when your hand can’t be steady.

I just felt like I should talk about what happened to me, but I don’t want to cry again… I hate crying. It’s water all over my face, I feel cold, I keep hiccupping like an idiot, and I can’t talk straight. It’s not fitting on me. Warren Peace shouldn’t cry. But I did, and I couldn’t stop.

I’m still hoping that this is just a nightmare, and that I’ll wake up, shiver, and forget it like everything else I dream about at night. It’s funny how one nightmare can ruin you and break you, since it’s all in your head.

I wonder what everyone else thinks. Will they notice anything different, perhaps something less about me? What does Will think? I know he considers me his best friend, but he hardly knows anything about me. It’s my fault. I won’t wear my heart on my sleeve. I have my image to protect, and the less people know about you, the less they have to hurt you with.

Will would never hurt anyone like that, I know, but it’s uncomfortable for me to let him know. I’m still not used to having friends. I’m comfortable being a loner, and I’m not sure if I want to change that.

I was so scared that she’d never look at me the same. I’m… not a virgin anymore. That part of me’s just gone, stolen. I can’t get it back. But she understood that I could still be me again, and that all I needed was a little help to pick up the pieces and put myself back together. I just need some time to get my head straight. Macaria’s the queen of duct tape, for all I know.

I just don’t understand why it’s me. I should be the last person she’d ever want. Her dad snapped my arms in half, her mom raped me, and Maci won’t listen to what they think about me. Now she’s pissed at her parents, her family’s on the rocks, and it’s all over me. I shouldn’t be the one for her; she’ll be seventeen forever, and I’ll keep getting older until I die. My powers are nothing compared to what she’s capable of. I’m so fragile compared to her, and I have to watch my step in her own backyard. But I can’t tell her goodbye.

S***. There I go. Crying again. Just ignore the water marks on the page.

I hardly know what I’m doing anymore. I’m not used to seeing with my heart instead of my head and my eyes. I’m uncomfortable showing what’s going on inside my head, but it keeps breaking out, and suddenly I’m laughing one moment and crying the next. I’m not used to being in love.

But it’s stupid to say I’m not. I love her. I’ve got it bad, Romeo’s smitten for Juliet, and this time the rest of the Capulets all have nuclear warheads. It’s the most insane, illogical, masochistic, brainless thing to do, and I’m doing it. I can’t stop. I’m addicted, I need her like a drug. She’s my cocaine. If I try to forget her, I just… can’t. She’s stuck in my head, and then I wind up thinking about her even more, I start wondering if I’m wrong, or if she realizes the smart thing to do, or if she just disappears from me. I’m trapped in a cycle, a whirlpool. She’s my piece of driftwood to keep me from sinking.

I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind. I keep getting those butterflies in my stomach, and I can never say how I really feel around her. I feel like I want to pull her aside and tell her everything I know about myself, but I’m so afraid to at the same time. I’m so scared of who I am. I’m scared that if I give her my heart, she might drop it. I can’t picture her abandoning me, not after how she kissed me and comforted me and stayed with me and waited for me and held me and told me that she wouldn’t have anyone else but me…

But there’s always that little nagging, irrational doubt at the back of my mind that I wish I could smother and silence. I don’t know what I’d do if she was gone. I can’t picture it. It’s too hard. It feels almost pathetic, how dependent I am. I crave her presence. All I need is to see her, and I’m fine. If she looks at me, I’m stronger, if she talks to me, I’m happy. If she touches me, it’s beautiful, and if she holds me and kisses me, I’m so afraid that I’ll disappear when she lets go. She makes me feel alive. If I can know that she loves me, I’ll be okay.

[Macaria]

*melt and glares at Hades and Persephone Melinoe*

My chars are so mean. >>

Maci: *scowls* Uh-huh. *snuggles Warren*

[somechick]

-tears in eyes-

Nani: Why can't you ever be like that, David? All you do is surf and pick your belly button when you're bored.

This was so beautiful, my heart melted. <3

[~Elisa Maza~]

*tears streaking down face*

[Warren Peace]

Entry 16

So… Halloween.

It’s not my favorite holiday. It’s sort of annoying, since I had to grow up, and I don’t dress up and run around the neighborhood anymore. The doorbell rings every five seconds so you can’t really sit down and do anything, the kids practically maul you for all the “good candy”, teenagers are running around egging people’s houses… yeah, fun. And then there are the teenagers who still trick-or-treat just to get a free truckload of candy… Yeah, I switch the bowls when it’s teenagers. The little kids get the chocolate and stuff, lame teenagers get the raisins.

It’s practically the one day of the year people get an excuse to get back at Baron Battle (or at least his kid) for whatever reason, so my house always gets covered in stuff. Eggs, toilet paper, silly string, even spray-paint. It’s a total pain in the ass. I tried chasing the dudes away with the hose the first few years, but I gotta sleep sometime. Now I just saran-wrap the windows and everything else that I can’t paint over and let it happen, maybe give the police a little tip to catch some vandals. I stopped caring a long time ago, but cleaning the place up afterwards sucks.

Majenta was doing this little shindig on the 30th, so I got guilt-tripped into going to that. It was her family (she’s got a million-and-a-half cousins) and a handful of other friends within the superhero loop. It was a costume party, but I didn’t really wear anything special… I do have this t-shirt that says, “This IS my Halloween costume” so I did wear that. I’m goth, anyway- I scare people every day.

I hate crowds, so I just stood on the fringes of the party, but it was pretty good. Maj seemd a little overenthusiastic with the horror theme, though. I think she mentioned to me that her folks decided to do a “classic horror” theme this year: one room was Frankenstein, another was the Mummy, another was Dracula, that kind of stuff. The bathroom was Creature from the Black Lagoon, and I nearly peed my pants with this prank that Maj’s little brother set up: the kid turns into a crocodile, so he was waiting behind the shower curtain to freak out whoever came in first to take a piss. I was getting a soda when you heard this bloody-murder scream from the bathroom, and Zach practically breaks down the door with his mustard-bottle costume, trying to get out while zipping his pants back up.

There was this scavenger-candy-hunt thing for all the little kids, and it was actually pretty fun to watch- just about everyone in Majenta’s family turns into some kind of animal, so their candy was hidden somewhere that they could only get to in their shifted form. One moment, there’s just a bunch of kids standing in the backyard, and the next, it looks like there was a mass prison-break at the zoo. I saw a horse, an ostrich, a wolf, a tiger, some other kind of big cat, some kind of monkey that I think was an orangutan, a deer, a few other dogs, Maj’s croc brother, and one kid shifted into a dolphin when he hit the pool. Will told me later that Maj’s dad recruited his help for hiding some of the candy, since they were otherwise limited to just throwing it on the roof for one of Maj’s cousins, who turns into a hawk. And we hardly had to worry about secret identities or having a bunch of normal citizens seeing us, since her family lives way out in the rural part of the state. Her parents’ cover jobs are orange farmers, so she’s got a pretty cool place.

Things sorta wound down after that, and all the teenagers got together in her basement for a horror flick. Maj picked out The Shining, so I’d seen it before (Stephen King is amazing), but it was pretty funny to watch Layla, Will, Ethan, Zach, and a few other of Maj’s cousins squeal at the movie. And then when everyone was freaked out afterward, three of her older cousins who seemed like the horror-junkie type made a little conspiracy and totally made fun of everyone who screamed.

As far as I know, Will’s still got that “red rum” sign taped to his back.

[~Elisa Maza~]

Great post! I died at the image of Zach.

[Macaria]

LOVE IT! xD Update soon!!!!!! <3

[somechick]

xD Warren and his mischevious friends.
That candy-hunting thing sounds like so much fun!
-Nani turns into a Basset Hound pup and sniffs through the journal- x3

[Macaria]

Update this thing already!!!!!!!!! *pokes* 8DD