The REAL Cosmic Couple! (Hades/Persephone fic)

[Macaria]

Chapter XXX-- The Experts Make a Decision and Demeter Has Her 'Say'

“Well?” demanded Demeter after several minutes had passed and neither divinity had come to a conclusion.

“Calm down,” said Aphrodite, “This is a difficult case—it’s hard to tell--”

“But do they ‘love’ each other?” pressed Demeter, saying the word ‘love’ with a particularly nasty tone.

“I said, hold on a second!” said Aphrodite, and she walked in another circle around Hades and Persephone, finally moving to whisper with Cupid.

The couple just looked at each other while being examined.

“Well?!” said Demeter again after another few minutes had passed.

Cupid looked at Aphrodite, Aphrodite looked at Cupid and they said together, “It’s love.”

“The strongest type, too,” added Cupid.

“True love?” someone in the crowd whispered, and then everyone was talking at once, cries of, ‘How can that be!’ and ‘It’s not possible!’

“There must be a mistake,” gasped Demeter, storming up to the two love gods, making sure to push her daughter and her son-in-law as she stormed, “Check again!”

“I’m the Goddess of Love, Demeter, if I made a mistake then I’m not doing my job too well,” snapped Aphrodite.

“But…but did you…check really hard? Did you make sure double times? I-I mean, twice.” She was panicking, the words coming out of her mouth weren’t making much sense.

“Hey, I don’t tell you how to grow your plants. Don’t tell me how to do my job.” Aphrodite turned on her darkish pink heel and disappeared into the crowd, Cupid following (with a smirk on his chubby face).

Persephone stuck her tongue out at Demeter, one of her hands clutching Hades’ hand. “I told you so.”

Demeter turned white. “P-Persephone…Persephone, Persephone…Seph. S-Seph…” she sputtered desperately, “You can’t possibly mean that…you can’t…you can’t be serious. Him. Him?!”

Persephone narrowed her eyes and nodded. Hades shrugged, a smug smirk spreading across his face.

Demeter closed her eyes, as if to block the image of her daughter and the one that he hated standing together. “No…no, it can’t be, i-it’s just not possible, it’s not possible…” she moaned, and she opened her eyes to blink several times.

And then she turned on her heel and shook a finger in Hades’ face. “You!” she cried, “You did this! You did…something to my daughter! You…you hypnotized her!”

“I did not!” exclaimed Hades indignantly, “I didn’t do anything!”

“You kidnapped her!”

“I…well…” Hades paused, then said, “I meant besides that.”

Demeter’s eyes lit up, and she shook her finger wildly. “See? He confessed! Arrest him!” she shrieked.

“Arrest him?” said Zeus, “Do I look like a police officer?” It was an attempt to break the thick tension in the air. No-one laughed. Hades rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath, “Don’t quit your day job…”

“Well, for crying out loud, do something!” screamed Demeter, “Smite him!”

Zeus looked horrified. “I can’t do that; he’s my own brother!”

“But yet, you stick me in the Underworld anyway,” snapped Hades, and Persephone hit him.

But both were then distracted, because Demeter was really flipping out now, shaking and scowling and looking close to tears, unsure of what to do. Finally, she grabbed her daughter by the shoulders and demanded, “Sephy, what did he do to you? Be honest, I won’t get mad. It’s not your fault—”

“Or rather,” pointed out Aphrodite, coming back into the conversation, “what did they do together?”

A few gods snickered at this.

Demeter’s eyes widened and her hands tightened around Persephone, so that Persephone winced and cried out, without thinking about it.

“Persephone,” said Demeter fiercely, “you listen to me. I do not care if you ‘love’ him. I do not care if…if he’s not evil, or whatever it is you believe. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. You do NOT do ANYTHING with him! EVER!” And she yanked Persephone down to her height so that she stumbled.

Regaining her balance (and her dignity), Persephone straightened up and returned to Hades’ side, glancing at him almost nervously. He was thinking the exact same thing and thus spoke:

“Uh…Demeter…what if I told you,” Hades began, “And I’m just saying…like, y’know, not for real…but…um…what if I told you that we kinda…sorta…already…did?” His voice had gotten smaller and smaller so that when the sentence ended, you could barely hear him.

Unfortunately, Demeter did. And her green skin turned purple in about three seconds.

“WHAT?!?”

Persephone spread her hands and shrugged, trying to look apologetic but failing, due to the fact that several, ah, memories were coming back to her (and by the look of Hades, the same was happening to him).

“I can’t believe it!” wailed Demeter, “Sweet Hermes, Persephone, I can’t even look at you right now!”

“Then don’t look at me!” snapped Persephone, “Hey, it was my own decision, it’s not like he forced me to, or anything. So relax.”

Demeter turned to Zeus. “How could you let him do this to my daughter?!”

Zeus showed his palms in a gesture of peace. “How is it my fault? If my brother can’t control himself—”

“Hold on a second,” interrupted Hades furiously, “I can’t control myself?! ME?!” He flared up, and snapped, “Whatever you say, Mr. I-Have-More-Than-17-Wives-And-None-Of-Them-Know-About-Each-Other!”

Hera’s eyes widened and she turned to Zeus. “I—what?!”

Zeus winced. “Um…ah…” He glared at Hades, who blinked innocently, immensely pleased with himself.

“Oh! You didn’t tell Hera yet? My bad…what was she, the ninth?”

“Seventh,” corrected Zeus, then gasped and covered his mouth. Hera looked stunned, and she was about to yell at him when Demeter stepped between them.

“You can discuss your marriage issues later!” she hissed, “Right now we have a bigger marriage issue!” She pointed sharply at Hades and Persephone.

Hades made a face. “In-laws.” Persephone turned to him in disbelief, with a look that said, *Why* would you say that at *this* time?!

Demeter marched straight up to the couple, pushed Hades out of the way (“Hey!” he exclaimed), and faced Persephone. “You cannot and will not stay married to this…this creature!” spat Demeter, “I won’t allow it!”

“Mom,” said Persephone calmly, “I’m staying married. Hades is the most wonderful guy in the whole world—in the whole Underworld. And besides, you can’t just order me around anymore.”

Demeter visibly softened at the sound of her daughter’s rational and calm voice. “But…but dear, why don’t you just settle down with Apollo. He’s so much more…well-behaved.”

Persephone shook her head, smirking a little. “Well-behaved is…boring.”

“But..but...don’t ruin your life by marrying Hades,” Demeter said, bitterness icing her voice.

“I love him,” said Persephone simply, “This is what I’m doing. And you—” She glared at her mother, “—have no say in the matter.”

“No say?” repeated Demeter, “No say?!”

Persephone stood firm, and she scowled and nodded.

“I do have a say,” Demeter snapped, “I’ll say this: Nothing will grow on Earth while Persephone is in the Underworld! I swear on the River Styx!”

The lightly chattering crowd fell silent, and Persephone and Hades gasped.

Because all oaths sworn on the River Styx were unbreakable.

[~Elisa Maza~]

*dies laughing at “Whatever you say, Mr. I-Have-More-Than-17-Wives-And-None-Of-Them-Know-About-Each-Other!” I love that line!*

Elisa: Why that selfish no good.... Help me out here.

Sarah: Evil cow?

Elisa: That's good!

Bolt: *growls at Demeter*

Giselle: How could she be so mean? Her daughter is in love, Aphrodite said so!

Eris: I have no complaints. Let the Earth suffer.

Good guys: *roll eyes*

[Hades]

I love this chapter. I should illustrate it someday.

Or write a minific displaying a "cut" scene of TRCC in which Persephone is drunk....I mean, you don't drink that much alcohol and then walk away sober. Even if you're a goddess.

Chapter XXXI--The Pomegranate Agreement is Established

One could almost hear cricket noises as the gods and goddesses of Mt. Olympus stared at Demeter.

It was Hades who broke the silence. “Are you insane?” he demanded, staring down at Demeter and trying not to panic. Technically, starvation among the mortals was a good thing—for him, at least—but the other gods wouldn’t like it. Besides, if everyone died, he’d be out of business.

“Mom, if nothing grows on Earth, everyone is going to die,” said Persephone, not bothering to hide the note of panic in her voice, “And if all the mortals are dead—”

“No mortals means no more wars!” cried Ares.

“No more love,” said Cupid sadly.

“No sacrifices,” chimed Poseidon, and Hera added, “No worshippers.”

Zeus stood up. “I won’t have it!” he bellowed, “Persephone cannot stay with Hades.”

Demeter smiled triumphantly and Persephone stared in disbelief at her mother and Zeus.

“You can’t do this,” she said through gritted teeth, “You can’t break up a marriage like that. You can’t, it’s against our laws. You can’t just break us up; can’t say that we’re not allowed to see each other again…?”

Zeus crossed his arms. “The law? The law? I am the law!” He scowled. “I won’t let mankind die out so my little brother can be happy.”

Hades rolled his eyes. “Nice, Zeus, real nice.” Gods, his brother was such a jerk.

“Mom,” said Persephone again, “Mom, you can’t do this to me. You can’t do this to us.” She bit her lower lip. “You can’t!”

“I already did,” said Demeter coldly, “You have no choice. Say goodbye to Hades, give him his ring back, and let him go back to his Underworld.”

“No!” gasped Persephone, then she calmed down and said, more relaxed, “No. Forget it. Let the mortals die; I’m not leaving my husband.”

Demeter stared at her daughter. “No…no, you—you can’t—” She broke off, realizing that she could and was dead serious about doing it too. “Persephone, you won’t.”

“I will.” She grabbed Hades by the arm. “Hades, let’s go, I’m sorry; this was a bad idea.”

“Take one step outside those gates,” warned Zeus, “And I’ll smite both of you where you stand.” When they both froze, and cast looks of extreme annoyance towards their ‘king’, Zeus continued, “There’s got to be a way this can work out.”

He paused, then went on. “Persephone refuses to leave Hades, but if she goes back, the mortals will all die. And since oaths sworn on the Styx are unbreakable, we can’t make everything grow on Earth again if Persephone is in the Underworld. So…what are we going to do?”

He was pretty much thinking out loud. The assembled divinities knew not to answer him.

After several seconds of muttering to himself, Zeus said, “I have an idea. Demeter, give me a food.”

“Huh?” said Demeter.

“The name of a food, Demeter, give me a name.”

Demeter thought for a second (obviously confused—as was everyone else), “Um...pomegranates. Pomegranates are Sephy’s favorite fruit.”

“Don’t call me that,” protested Persephone.

Zeus waved a hand at them both for silence. “Alright, listen up, folks. If Persephone has eaten any—what was it?—pomegranates, that’s right, if she’s eaten any pomegranates while in the Underworld, she can stay. For how long?—that’ll be determined by amount; if, that is, she’s even eaten any.”

“She couldn’t have,” said Demeter, casting a glance towards Persephone, who was clinging to Hades, “Why would there be any pomegranates in the Underworld?”

Persephone had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she realized that Demeter was right. She could feel tears brimming at her eyes; all the fruits in the world and the one that was picked, she hadn’t eaten.

Hades was also reacting similarly—but he only stared at Persephone instead of showing any other kind of emotion.

I can’t leave you, I can’t, I can’t Seph, I just can’t…there’s no way I’ll be able to say goodbye, no way I can leave you, I can’t, I can’t…was what was running through Hades’ head as he stared at his now crying wife, clutching at his toga with a sense of desperation.

“Well, it appears that she hasn’t eaten any,” said Zeus, looking towards Hades and Persephone, “Alright, then. Problem solved. Hades, back to the Underworld—”

“Wait.”

All heads turned to Persephone, whose eyes had widened. She didn’t bother to wipe away tears streaking down her face. Instead…

…she began to laugh.

Hades blinked. “Uh…Seph?”

She was crying and laughing at the same time and finally she gasped for air and cried, ‘I did!”

Demeter raised an eyebrow. “Persephone, what are you—”

“I did,” she repeated, “I did have pomegranates. Don’t you remember , Hades? The wine, the wine!”

His own yellow eyes slowly widened as it came back to him.

Wine. The pomegranate wine he had conjured especially for her…

Oy, that had been one hell of a night, too (hint, hint…). It was a wonder he had forgotten…

Smirking deviously, Hades only spoke one syllable, and it was directed both to Zeus and Demeter:

“Ha.”

Persephone grinned, and now she wiped her tears away. “Take that, mom! I get to stay with Hades after all!”

Zeus held up his hand quickly. “Hold on. You can’t stay with him for the whole year.”

Hades flared up and crossed his arms. “Well, why the hell not?!”

With the air of one correcting a small child, Zeus answered patiently, “because all the humans will starve to death. Now, Persephone, you say you ate pomegranates?”

“Pomegranate wine,” she responded.

Demeter let out a short, cruel laugh. “There’s no such thing.”

Way in the back of the crowd, Bacchus piped up, “Yeah, there is. You can make it; but only gods.”

“I made it for her,” added Hades, “She said it was her favorite fruit—”

“Yeah, right,” sneered Demeter, “I’ll bet you were just trying to get her drunk.”

“I was not,” snapped Hades.

“All of you, stop it!” yelled Zeus, “Stop talking. This matter needs to be settled.” He turned to Persephone. “How much of this…er, wine did you eat? I-I mean, drink.”

At this, Hades smirked and looked at her. Persephone—faintly, but visibly—blushed.

“Um…” she said hesitantly, “…six.”

Zeus stared blankly.

“Six? Six what? Six sips? Six gulps? Six glasses? Six drops?”

Hades smirked even more. Persephone blushed even more.

“Uh…” she said, then cut off, glancing at her mother, who was standing with furrowed brows and her arms crossed.

In a lower voice, Persephone admitted, “Six…bottles.”

Demeter’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Zeus raised an eyebrow. “How big were the bottles?”

Hades snapped his fingers, and one appeared in his hand. It was just a little smaller than his forearm.

It was a big bottle, as bottles of wine go.

Demeter’s jaw dropped even more. Zeus said, stunned, “You had six of those?”

Persephone shrunk back a little. “Er…yes.”

Demeter let out a shriek. “MY BABY’S AN ALCOHOLIC!”

Persephone whirled around. “Mom! I’m not an alcoholic. Relax; I was just upset, that’s all.” Under her breath, she added, “Sure is a good thing gods can’t get alcohol poisoning…”

Zeus recovered from his stunned...ness, and declared, “Alright everyone. Since Persephone drank six—” He stared at her with narrowed eyes, to which she stepped backwards so she was next to Hades again, “—bottles of pomegranate wine, she can spend six months with Hades. And six months on Earth. That way, for half the year, Earth will grow, and for the other half, it won’t; this way, mortals will be able to survive on the previous months’ crops and such. Demeter, Hades, Persephone—is this agreement…acceptable?”

Persephone and Hades looked at each other, thinking the same thing. After all this time, being away from each other for six months would be hard. But it was, after all, better than being separated for eternity. And they’d still get half the year together. Holding tightly to each other’s hands, they nodded slowly.

And Demeter, tears coming to her eyes, said, “I…I have no choice…but to accept.”

Zeus looked to Athena, who had finished writing all this into a contract, and then back to the three in front of him. The newly written document appeared in his hand, and, handing each god/goddess a quill, he opened the scroll.

“A contract?” said Persephone in confusion.

“The Pomegranate Agreement,” stated Zeus, “and if you sign it, it’ll be finalized.”

Hades, knowing more than his fair share about contracts and making deals, read over the Agreement quickly. Having found no possible loopholes that could be used against him and Seph, and observing that the words were stated clearly and could hold no double meaning, signed his name with a flourish, Persephone doing the same, and then (only hesitating a moment) Demeter.

Zeus grinned. “There,” he said, “Problem solved.”

“So…” said Demeter carefully, “So now…winter and autumn…will be cold…and nothing will grow. Right?” Zeus nodded in conformation, and she continued, “So…when does Persephone come home?”

Persephone drew in her breath.

“Persephone, you can go back to the Underworld tonight,” said Zeus, “and collect your belongings and say goodbye. I expect you packed and on Mt. Olympus by tomorrow morning, understood?”

Persephone nodded, though with a trace of sadness. Leaving Hades so soon? That was going to be tough…

“And then tomorrow, the six-month cycle begins. And Persephone will be returned to Hades. Are we understood?” Nods. “Good. Now all of you, back to…whatever you were doing beforehand. This is over.”

But…not over, for the Olympian gods, at least. Because Persephone had pressed her lips to Hades’ and the two stood in a full embrace in the middle of the crowd.

And they almost lived happily ever after…thought Hades, Yeah. Almost.


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“So…” said Hercules, still almost reeling from the fact that Persephone had consumed six bottles of wine and had no regrets towards it (Herc’s a total farmboy, ain’t he?), “…is the story over?”

“Almost,” replied Macaria, “Just a little more, I promise. And then you can all go about your happy little lives doing whatever the heck it is you do.” She rolled her eyes.

“Hey, hey, relax,” said Meg, “I'm in no rush—I kind of like this story. Not only is it twisted and interesting, it provides a hell of a lot of blackmail to use if I ever see Hades again.”

Macaria just rolled her eyes again.

[Will Stronghold]

Will: "Warrren, are you... smiling?"

Warren: *wipes grin off face* "...No."

Jim: "Totally saw you, you were smiling." *smirk*

Warren: "So what? ... It's a cool story. And Maci's mom plus enough alcohol to kill me..."

Mutt: "...Equals one goddam funny image."

[Persephone]

Chapter XXXII-- Hades Nearly Scares Persephone to Death and Plans Are Made

“Persephone…” said Hades carefully, “I’ve been thinking…”

About, well, six months had passed since the Pomegranate Agreement had been established. In fact, Persephone had come back to Hades no more than a week ago.

Persephone smirked. “What? Kicking me out already?”

“We-ell…” Hades cocked his head to one side. “Not exactly…”

Her smirk grew wider. “Who am I kidding—you wouldn’t kick me out…I’m the light of your life. And you’re a moth.”

Hades smirked dryly back at her. “Very funny,” he said, “Seriously, though. I have been thinking…well…when we got married…well, it wasn’t exactly a marriage. I mean it was, but not really a legal one, if you catch my drift.”

Persephone raised one eyebrow. “Go on…”

“I forced you into saying everything that needed to be said, yadda yadda, and technically…it doesn’t count. It wasn’t a mutual thing, so it shouldn’t count.” He paused and folded his hands. “I mean, come on. I had you tied to a chair.”

Persephone nodded uneasily, not sure where he was going with this.

“Therefore, if you think about this rationally….we’re not married.”

Persephone shrugged. “Ok…so…we’re not married anymore.”

“No.”

“You’re not my husband.”

“Correct.”

“And I’m not your wife.”

“Correct again.”

“So…” She took in a breath, a bit shaken by the recent turn of events, “So we are not married anymore. It never happened—it’s annulled. Right?”

“Right.”

Persephone stared at her wedding ring, which was steadily vanishing. A quick glance to Hades confirmed that his was doing the same.

As both rings vanished in a little puff of smoke, Hades nodded, almost relieved.

She blinked, becoming more confused by the second. Hades wasn’t actually going to throw her out right? He didn’t actually mean that—

“Um, Hades?” she questioned, a trace of fear in her eyes. She truly loved him, couldn’t live without him, needed him. He was her life. Six months were bad enough, she had quickly learned, but an immortal lifetime? No. Never.

He didn’t answer straightaway. After a while, he said, “Yeah?”

Persephone swallowed, growing nervous now. “So, uh…we’re not married…so what…I mean, how are we going to….I…are we just going to do, like, a boyfriend –girlfriend sort of thing …?” Her voice trailed off and she looked up at Hades.

“Well, not exactly,” he admitted.

She drew a breath; she hadn’t expected him to say that. He is kicking me out!

“Not exactly?” she repeated.

Persephone expected Hades to just throw her out right then and there (literally). She didn’t, however, expect him to wave his hand, making something appear in the middle of her palm.

A ring.

“Persephone,” he said, “Will you marry me?”

She was silent for a few seconds, her mouth open in relieved shock, and her hand closing around the ring. And then she hit him.

“Dammit, Hades, you almost gave me a heart attack! I didn’t know what you were doing!”

He only smirked at her. “Is that a yes?”

She collapsed against him, smiling through tears that had suddenly developed. “Of course!”


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In all honesty, neither of them was into huge crowds, romantic crap, et cetera, et cetera. So they both agreed to make their wedding as small as possible.

“I really don’t even want to say a whole bunch of vows, either,” said Persephone, slumped over a scroll and jotting down wedding plans, a slight frown crossing her face.

She was sitting at a table (black of course) and Hades stood behind her, looking down at the paper and Persephone as she spoke. He raised an eyebrow. “Ditto.”

She looked up at him as he looked down at her, and she brushed away stray blonde hairs that crossed her face. “And do we even want to invite anyone? I mean…who’ll even come? No-one from Olympus, except maybe Aphrodite because she’s the one marrying us.”

Hades closed his yellow eyes, hair flashing red. “Oy. I’d keep it a completely private thing, like, no guests or anything, but don’t we need witnesses or something like that?”

“Exactly.” Persephone sighed. “Well, I think most of the Underworld will want to come. Pain and Panic definitely, Charon and the Fates definitely, the Furies definitely….”

She paused, then said, “My mom might want to come, but I don’t know. She doesn’t like you much.”

“Really?” said Hades, sarcasm dripping off his voice, “I couldn’t tell.”

Persephone ignored his sarcastic comment, and continued, “And I dunno…will your parents want to come?”

Hades winced. “Not the best idea. My dad swallowed me alive when I was, like, three; he’s not exactly the kind of guy you’d want at a wedding.”

Persephone stared at him. “He swallowed you alive? Seriously?” When he nodded sullenly, Persephone went on, “Sheesh. Okay, what about your mother?”

Hades shrugged. “Probably. She’s the one who encouraged me to kidnap you, anyway.”

Persephone raised an eyebrow dryly. “Remind me to thank her personally for that.”

Hades smirked. “By thank do you mean strangle?”

“Perhaps.”

His smirk grew. “Hey…at least she’s supportive of my hobbies.”

Persephone’s violet eyes widened, then narrowed, and her voice was teasingly angry. “Hobbies?!”

“Kidnapping people is fun.”

Persephone ran a hand through her hair, exasperated. “Sicko.”

Hades grinned, “Okay, so…most of the Underworld, my mother, your mother…”

“Hera’ll probably make Zeus come.”

“I don’t want him there.”

“I don’t think he cares, but like I said, Hera’ll probably make him. And that means she’ll be coming too; after all, she is the goddess of marriage.”

“Great.” He scowled.

“I don’t know too many people,” she went on, “because my mother’s kept me under lock and key for my whole life. The nymphs I work with will probably insist on coming, and that means Ianthe can be the flower girl, or whatever…we can find something for Pain and Panic to do, I’ll bet…”

Hades smirked. “They’d make good bridesmaids.”

“Very funny.” She pressed her hand to the scroll in thought, her lips slightly parted. Then she said, “Do you have any friends?”

Hades snickered bitterly. “Yeah, right. Mr. Popularity, right here.”

“I’m serious, Hades.”

“So am I.”

“Don’t you have, like…” She searched for the right word, “…business partners, or something?”

Hades considered that. “The other Underworld gods and goddesses.”

“Here? In our Underworld?”

Hades liked it that she had said ‘our’ Underworld and not just his. “No, in all the Underworlds. I’m talking about Hel, Anubis and Osiris, Satan, Pluto and Proserpina, Sedna…Loki’ll want to come, too, even though he’s not one of the Underworld gods…”

Persephone shrugged. “’Kay. They’re your friends. Just make sure they don’t, like, molest me or something. I don’t know about the type of people you hang out with.”

“Thanks.”

“No offense, of course.” She smiled innocently.

He just rolled his eyes.


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The wedding was scheduled to be in two months. The couple was both eagerly awaiting it, and desperately dreading it.

There was a possibility it would turn out as a disaster, and a possibility it would run smoothly; either way, it would be interesting.

And, naturally, as small as possible.

[~Elisa Maza~]

Giselle: *sings and dances* Oh they're getting married! Really and truly this time!

Elisa: Just don't let Hades catch you dancing in his throne room.

[Persephone]

This chapter makes it seem like the story is over, but there's an epilogue, so stay tuned. :3

Chapter XXXIII-- Hades and Persephone Get Remarried

“Shoo.”

Hades had his arms crossed, and he was scowling into blank space, his hair a furious shade of red.

Pain tilted his head. “Boss…” he said carefully, inwardly deciding to take a huge risk and chide him on this, “Don’t be difficult.”

Panic stared at Pain, mouthing the words, ‘Are you insane?!’ but Pain just shrugged.

“Shoo,” Hades repeated, “Scram, leave, disappear, scurry off, vanish, get lost, go away, shoo. And leave me ALONE!!” He stood up and zapped them.

Pain coughed. So it hadn’t been the best idea to say that…

“But, boss—” Panic started, but Hades cut him off.

“Seph and I wanted to make this as small as possible. No ridiculous decorations, no ridiculous wedding cake, no ridiculous wedding dress and no ridiculous…whatever the hell that is.”

“Don’t you want to look nice for your wedding?”

“As a matter of fact, no. I don’t care. I wanna re-marry Seph and get done with it so we can go on with living our lives in the perfectly satisfied way we were before. No fancy junk. Just…well, the way we had being living before!”

“But…what are you going to wear?” questioned Panic.

Hades stared in disgust at the fancy toga/chiton thing the imps had presented him with. “This,” he said, gesturing to the clothes he was wearing at the moment; the traditional black chiton with the skull pin he usually had on.

Pain and Panic sighed in aggravation, deciding in a glance that it wasn’t worth arguing with him.

Hades had no idea that at the same time in Demeter’s cottage, Persephone was arguing with her mother about almost the same thing.


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“Shoo,” said Persephone, folding her arms in the exact same way Hades had them folded, unaware that she was using the exact same word he had chosen to use.

Demeter covered her face with her hands. “Persephone,” she said flatly, “This is difficult enough for me as it is. Don’t make it even more difficu—”

“Difficult for you?” said Persephone, her voice dangerously quiet, “This is my wedding. You have nothing to do with it; in fact you’ve only made things worse for me. For my life.”

Demeter stared at Persephone and narrowed her eyes. “Why is it difficult? What, you…you think I want you to marry him?”

“Oh, I’ve realized you don’t…you’ve made your displeasure perfectly clear, Mother,” said Persephone icily.

Demeter only kept staring. A bonus to Persephone marrying this…this creature was that she had become amazingly polite in terms of words; however, her tone had only grown colder and nastier as the days flew by.

“But with your permission,” Persephone continued, “or without it, this wedding is going to happen. It’s my choice, my decision.” She turned to glare at Demeter. Normally sparkling violet eyes were unnaturally hard.

Demeter was quiet for a second. “I have no objection,” she said.

She snapped around to stare at Demeter so quickly it appeared she would get whiplash; her eyes were so wide, one would think they’d fall out. Her skin was several shades lighter.

“Y-You don’t?!” gasped Persephone. It couldn’t be! Demeter was the most stubborn person she knew; Hades was easier to deal with, and that was saying something.

Demeter pressed her lips together tightly. “I…I don’t but I do, if that makes any sense…”

Persephone recovered quickly. Too good to be true. Figures.

“I just….just don’t like…I mean…” She cut off, not sure what words to use. “You know I don’t like Hades, and I doubt I ever will, but…but I’m done arguing with you. No more objections, I’ll keep it to myself.”

“Sure.”

“I will.”

“Of course. For how long, a week?”

“Persephone…”

“I’m sorry, mother.”

Demeter struggled not to lose her temper. Not now, she was already on thin ice with Persephone… “I will keep it to myself, for as long as I can—”

“Which won’t be long.”

“—but don’t you come crying to me when things don’t work out and you want a divorce.”

Persephone smirked slightly. “See? You didn’t even last 10 minutes.”

“I’m just saying,” said Demeter, folding her thick green arms.

She shrugged, rolled her eyes and tilted her head, thinking of flowers and bones and sunlight and darkness and Hades.

“Now then!” Demeter said, her voice taking on a more commanding motherly tone, “Put this on.”

“No,” Persephone said automatically.

“Persephone—”

“I don’t want to,” she said through clenched teeth.

“But, but, it’s your wedding,” protested Demeter almost helplessly, “You can’t just walk down the aisle—”

“I’m not walking down an aisle.” Hades and Persephone had agreed to just save time and materialize at the spot where they were supposed to stand instead of walking dramatically down the aisle—Persephone, anyway, didn’t have a father, making it kind of hard for her father to escort her…

“Well, then when you’re…when you’re doing whatever, when you’re at the wedding,” Demeter said, frowning, “you can’t just be wearing…street clothes.”

“Street clothes.”

“Yes. That.” Demeter gestured to the plain blue dress Persephone was wearing, complete with a pink flower clasp holding the fabric together at her shoulder. “You can’t wear that at your wedding,” she said, and, checking the sundial hanging from a hook on the wall, added, “Which, by the way, is in about an hour and a half.”

“But….I don’t want to wear a wedding dress,” Persephone said, folding her hands in her lap, “And what’s wrong with wearing this? Hades isn’t dressing up.”

“And if Hades jumped off a bridge, would you jump, too?” said Demeter dryly.

Persephone’s lips curved into a tiny smirk. “Maybe. I’m immortal, what would I have to lose?”

Demeter said nothing.

“Old expressions don’t work on goddesses, mom,” said Persephone.

“Whatever,” Demeter groaned, “Listen, Sephy—”

“Don’t call me that!”

“Seph, you have to wear something new to your wedding. Not that ragged thing you’re wearing now, something that looks decent.”

Persephone snapped her fingers, and her old blue dress transformed into a new black one. But this dress—unlike the fancy wedding dress Hades had originally conjured for her—was simple, extremely plain. Just a long, black dress.

And the clasp was different. Demeter eyed it curiously.

“Is that—is that a pomegranate?” said Demeter.

“Where?”

“There. Your…your little clasp…?”

Persephone glanced at her clasp, to her mother, back to the clasp, then back to her mother and smirked. “Why...yes it is.”

Almost growing angry, but mostly growing exasperated, Demeter said, “You’re going to wear a pomegranate to your wedding?!”

“Why not? What do you care?!”

Demeter sighed, rather annoyed, and gave up. Arguing with Persephone was a lost cause…


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To say Aphrodite was happy was a major understatement. She was thrilled, ecstatic, trembling with joy. The one god and one goddess who had openly opposed love and marriage were getting married.

And to each other. What a triumph in the fields of love.

Sure, there were the three virgin goddesses who had formally declared themselves off-limits to any man. Aphrodite hated it, but accepted it. At least they (for the most part) didn’t go around talking about love like it was something foul and disgusting. And, Aphrodite recalled to herself, they weren’t even pretty; their closing themselves off didn’t make any sort of difference. Persephone, she was gorgeous, a beauty which (although she hated to admit it) rivaled her own. Her staying single would have been a terrible, terrible loss.

And Hades, gods, Hades. Hades had skulked around miserably for eons, claiming that to love someone was a god-awful thing. He had bragged to Aphrodite more than once about his ability to resist her powers.

Aphrodite smirked slightly into her mirror, admiring her perfect lips and eyes and cheeks. Hades’ so-called ‘ability’ wasn’t nearly as strong as he had made it out to be, obviously. She smirked again, wider.

The situation had only improved for her. Because she was going to be the one who would get to marry them.

The goddess of love stared at her reflection. Oh, yes, Persephone is stunning, she thought sweetly, But I’m stunning-er. Her thoughts drifted back to the situation at hand.

Hades and Persephone, the anti-marriage couple, were getting married and Aphrodite would get the honor of marrying them.

“What a triumph,” she said happily, “Oh, such a triumph…”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hades checked the sundial on the wall for at least the thirteenth time. As the shadow moved slightly over to the IV, Hades blinked.

And disappeared in a curl of smoke, his final words echoing around the tiny room.

“Showtime, boys.”

Pain and Panic sniffed loudly, wiping away tears of joy and pride.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Persephone, who had also been eagerly watching the sundial, leapt to her feet as the shadow moved to IV.

Demeter didn’t bother to hide the scowl on her face as her daughter vanished.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They had already agreed not to walk down the aisle.

Both Hades and Persephone appeared at the altar. Conveniently, (and entirely accidentally) in each others' arms.

Neither was complaining.

Hades couldn’t help but notice the expression on Aphrodite’s face. It annoyed him, because he knew exactly why she looked so smug.

He certainly could resist her powers…if he wanted to…and looking at Persephone, his bride-to-be, resisting Aphrodite’s powers of love was the last thing he wanted to do.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Persephone curled her hand around Hades’ and practically purred. To think, several months ago, she had firmly declared that she would never, never ever, not a chance in Tartarus get married. Unless, she had said, it was for love.

Needless to say, she had stayed true to her word.

She noted how happy Aphrodite looked. Because I’m getting married, said a voice in her head, Because me and Hades are getting married. The voice in her head…she recalled with an inner smile the two halves of her conscience, pro-Hades and anti-Hades, who had actually played a huge part in her and Hades’ relationship.

It was too bad they didn’t exist. She would have invited them to the wedding.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aphrodite wanted to stick her tongue out and laugh. She had only really seen the two together when Persephone had returned; and that hardly counted, seeing as Hades had been under too harsh an interrogation to show his feelings (…not that he ever did.).

But now…

She was unable to keep the triumphant smirk off her face. The satisfaction, the satisfaction of seeing her amazing powers completely conquer the dark Lord of the Underworld.

Aphrodite unrolled the long scroll she had prepared just for the occasion. Lines and lines of specially written vows were scrawled in her perfect, beautiful handwriting. She flashed a stunning smile at her audience, and began to read.

At least, she started to begin. All she had done was open her mouth when Hades interjected.

“Hold on there, Aph,” he said, holding up his hand. Persephone tried to suppress a smirk. Demeter, in the ‘audience,’ groaned.

Aphrodite had had very little patience with Hades to begin with. She managed to keep a hold on her temper, anyway.

“Yes?” she said tightly.

“Okay, Aph, babe, listen. Seph and I just wanna get married, kay?” he said, “So…can ya, like, skip through all this—” he snatched the scroll from her hands, scanned it, and made a face, “—stuff, and just…marry us.”

“Short, sweet, and to the point, please,” added Persephone.

Aphrodite stared at them furiously, gritting her teeth. The best moment of her career—and they wanted to ruin it for her?!

She fumed silently for a few seconds.

“Do you?” she finally flatly asked Persephone.

The goddess of spring nodded and smiled. “Yup.”

It only infuriated Aphrodite more. Couldn’t she say ‘I do’ like a regular bride?!

Aphrodite turned to Hades and asked, just as flatly, “Will you?”

Hades grinned, twistedly, “Mm-hmm.”

Aphrodite scowled. “You’re married. Kiss the bride,” she snapped, and she stomped off to go sulk in the audience.

Hades smirked at Persephone, who was shaking her head, amused.

“Hey, well, ya wanted a short wedding,” Hades said, “Short enough for ya?”

Persephone rolled her eyes, but she was smiling, “Oh, please, it was perfect,” she said, and then her smile grew as she added, “And now, I believe you were just given an instruction…?” She looked at him expectantly.

Hades blinked. Oh, right. Duh. Without another moment of hesitation, the Lord of the Underworld kissed his new Queen.

Even sulky Aphrodite had to smile.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Persephone grinned and hummed to herself as she flitted about her room. She was a wife, a queen. The goddess of spring and now the goddess of rebirth as well. Zeus had insisted that, as the new official Queen of the Underworld, ‘goddess of spring’ would seem a little out of place. And so he bestowed upon her an additional duty.

Persephone suspected privately that it had just been a way to keep her busy and away from Hades. A new little voice in her ehad told her Zeus was insanely jealous of his brother.

She gathered her things together and threw them into a bag. She had been staying on Earth for the wedding and the days surrounding it, but it was still fall. And she had every intention of returning to the Underworld with her husband.

Speaking of which, Persephone’s husband was standing just outside her bedroom door, arguing with Demeter.

“…and the poor girl’s exhausted, you can’t take her back today, not now!” Demeter was saying (screaming).

“She’s my wife now,” Hades snapped, and Persephone could easily detect a note of pride in his voice, “she belongs with me now—and it’s autumn, anyway. She’s supposed to be in the Underworld to begin with!”

“I won’t let you!” Demeter cried, “You’re lucky I sat through that awful wedding without crying out an objection, that was bad enough. But now you have the nerve to ask me to permit you to—”

“I’m not asking, I’m telling!”

“AND I’M TELLING YOU—”

“HEY!” Persephone cut, stepping quickly in the middle of Hades and Demeter, “Please try not to kill each other.”

“Sephy, I—” Demeter started.

“Don’t call me Sephy,” Persephone immediately snapped.

Demeter looked very annoyed. “Persephone, this isn’t your place—”

“Oh, leave her alone already, sis,” Hades snapped, flaring up.

Demeter said something like, ‘don’t call me that,’ but Persephone wasn’t really listening.

Sis?!

Her first instinct was that she had heard him wrong. But even though Hades talked fast, he never mingled words.

And the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Definitely explains why they hate each other so much.

“Sis?” Persephone repeated out loud.

Demeter gave Hades a dirty look, and he glared right back.

And Demeter said, “Sephy, sweetheart, I thought you knew.”

“Knew?” echoed Persephone, looking from Hades to Demeter and back again. “You mean…you two are…” She had to laugh. They were so…different! “…brother and sister?!”

Hades glanced at Demeter and scowled; she did the same, only vice versa.

“A little,” Hades said, frowning deeply.

“A little? Well, either you are or you aren’t,” said Persephone.

“We are,” said Demeter through tightly clenched teeth.

Persephone began to giggle. “I can’t believe you never told me this!” She glanced at Hades. “I can’t believe either of you never cared to mention it!”

“You know, I don’t find anything very funny about it,” said Demeter, her upper lip curling in disgust.

“So…” Persephone giggled despite her mother’s words. “So, I just married my uncle?”

Hades and Demeter shared a glance. But before he could get a word out, Demeter was already by Persephone’s side, talking.

“If you’re, oh, uncomfortable about being married to a close relative,” Demeter said innocently, “you know, Sephy, divorce is always an option.”

Hades narrowed his eyes and looked absolutely furious.

Persephone was more annoyed with her mother than angry. “Yeah, no,” she said, with a slight sneer, “Nice try, though.”

It was Demeter’s turn to be furious; with an angry sigh, she gave up and turned on her heel, retreating into the shadows of Olympus. “Have fun with him,” she spat out sarcastically, and then she was more or less gone.

Hades stole a nervous-ish glance at Persephone. He personally couldn’t care less whether or not Seph was his niece or not. He loved her, that was all that mattered. Right? And besides, Zeus had married his own sister. So their little incestuous marriage was no biggie, compared to his older siblings’.

He didn’t care. But Persephone could think otherwise…

“Seph?” Hades said finally, quietly, questioningly, “You…you don’t care, right? About us being, like, related?” He looked up at the sky. “I mean, we’re gods, so it doesn’t matter, and I don’t care but…”

She cut him off. “Hey, if I cared, trust me, I’d be out the door and running by now,” Persephone said with a smirk.

Hades tried not to sigh with relief. It would have killed him if she had said yes, that it did bother her…if she had just ended the marriage right then and there, before they had even gotten back to the Underworld. Thank the gods, Hades thought, and again he had to struggle to keep a look of relief off his face. Even if he was married, he had a reputation to keep. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t want Seph thinking he was afraid—

“Why?” Persephone questioned at the moment, “Were you afraid?”

Hades’ eyes widened. “Hey, I wasn’t—”

“Don’t bother to rationalize. It’s a hopeless cause,” Persephone teased, “I can read you like a scroll.”

Hades rolled his eyes and smiled at her.

The smirk that had been on her face faded and she stared at him in wonder. A conversation they had had—months ago!—replayed for her:

“Er…sorry…” she said with a shrug, “I’m sorta living in another world.”

Hades smirked. “Yeah. The Underworld.”

Persephone looked around, as if realizing this for the first time. “Besides that, I mean.” She gave him a half-smile.

He smirked at her.

Persephone gave an exasperated sigh. “Why do you have to smirk at everything? Can’t you just smile like a normal person?”

He shrugged. “Sorry, babe, I don’t do smiling.”

“You don’t do smiling, huh?” Persephone found herself saying, but she was unable to look away, unable to pull her thoughts away from the subject.

He was smiling, for the first time in—in how long? Months, obviously, because she had never, not once, seen him actually smile in the time she was with him. But now, now he was.

The fact she couldn’t tear away from was that he wasn’t just smiling.

He was smiling for her.

[~Elisa Maza~]

*is grinning like an idiot, but doesn't care.*

Now you all know my favorite part. Hades smiled for Seph. It's so sweet, and so romantic, and the one thing I will never mock Hades for. I love it so much. It's my favorite part of this story.

[Warren Peace]

Really? I can't picture Hades smiling... I'm still working on trying to visualize it so it doesn't look like he's in pain or something...

But my favorite part is when Seph confesses her feelings to Hades, and then the chapter ends with a small scene change to Rhea and the Fates, all smiling.

That part makes me smile right along with them.

[Macaria]

You guys have favorite parts?! O.O *honored* Hehe.

Epilogue

“…The end,” finished Macaria, and she sat back in her chair, looking expectantly at her 3-person audience.

“Wow, Macaria,” Bob said, his voice sounding rather stunned, “I…I never knew all of that…any of that. Thank you for sharing.”

She gave the nonexistent narrator a fanged smile.

“Yeah,” agreed Hercules, “I didn’t know all that, either…come to think of it…how do you know all of it? I mean…” He laughed a little. “Hades isn’t exactly the most open guy in all of Greece, if ya know what I mean. How’d you find all this stuff out?”

“I’m on good terms with the Fates,” Macaria explained, “They let me read the Tapestry and stuff…and I’ve read the story of my parents so many times, I’ve got it memorized. Word for word, thought for thought, action for action.”

“And your parents don’t mind you going around telling people about their past?” Hercules asked skeptically.

Macaria shrugged. “…eh.”

Hercules blinked. “Eh? What does ‘eh’ mean?”

She shrugged again. “Just…eh.”

Meg smirked. “I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say that your ever-so-charming parents either do NOT know you’re telling us these things or, if they do, are NOT happy about it.” Macaria scowled, and Meg added, “Am I right?”

“Well,” Maci said, choosing her words carefully, “They’re not…very happy about it…but they don’t really mind.”

“Says who?” growled Hades.

Macaria gasped and whirled around; Hercules and Meg sprang to their feet.

Standing behind them was the real cosmic couple themselves.

“Oh, my,” said Bob.

“Wha—how long have you been standing there?!” Hercules stuttered.

“About 20 seconds,” Persephone said stiffly, “But we’ve been watching—and listening—on Tartarus Vision since you started.”

Macaria looked furious, her hair seemed to be on the verge of explosion. “nd since when did you start to spy on me?!”

Hercules, who had been examining Persephone curiously, suddenly piped up, “Hey, that’s your wedding dress!”

Persephone and Hades turned and glared at Macaria as one.

She was, in fact, wearing the dress she had worn for her re-marriage to Hades; complete with pomegranate clasp at the shoulder. Dangling from around her neck was her skull necklace.

Persephone actually looked, according to Macaria’s descriptions, at least, just like she had all those years ago, only now, her hair reached almost down to her knees.

“Y’know,” said Hades irritably, “ I seem to recall one of us telling you NOT to go around being a freaking storyteller.”

“I’m educating the public,” Macaria replied, folding her arms.

“No, you’re educating them,” Hades shot a glare at Hercules and Meg, “Listen, Maci. Are you trying to get me to explode? ‘Cuz that’s the only place this conversation is going.”

“Is Menthe still growing in your garden?” Meg asked Persephone wryly. Persephone scowled.

“Macaria—” She started angrily, but the teenage goddess already knew what was coming.

“I know, I know, grounded ‘til next Saturnalia. Sheesh, touchy, touchy.” Macaria scowled and as both Hades and Persephone grabbed Macaria by each arm and started to materialize, she waved at Herc and Meg and rolled her eyes.

And then all three were gone.

Hercules glanced uneasily at Meg, then looked upwards to wherever Bob was.

“Weird,” he commented.

“Very weird,” agreed Meg, “I didn’t know Hades had a soft side.”

“I can’t help but wonder about Macaria,” said Bob.

“What about her?” said Hercules.

“I mean, we know the story of her parents now,” said Bob, “But…what’s the story of her?”

“Hades would be amusing as a father,” Meg mused, “I’ll bet he flipped out when Persephone told him she was pregnant.”

“Well…do you think it’s too late to call Macaria back?” said Hercules, “Y’know, ask her to tell us her life story?” After a second, he added, “’Cuz I wanna know now, too.”

“She’s grounded ‘’til next Saturnalia,’ remember?” Meg pointed out.

“Well,” said Bob, “When she’s ungrounded, we can go ask her, right? After all,” His tone changed. It sounded a little bit proud. “After all, I can’t be the narrator and not know all there is to know about the gods and their stories. Then I can’t accurately narrate.”

“Right,” Hercules said. Meg nodded.

“Alright. So I’ll put it on our To-Do List…. ‘Go to the Underworld and Ask Macaria to Tell Us Her Life Story.’” She grinned twistedly, and glanced at Herc. “And now, if there’s nothing else for us to do here, I think I’ll be getting home…you coming, Wonderboy?” Hercules obediently nodded and they started to walk away.

And one could hear Hercules’ voice as the two left:

“Why did Bob have to bring that up? Now I’m dying to know her story!”

I ended on a pun. Mwahaha!! >:} XD

So, yupp, this story's over. Go read Little Miss Flames and Flowers now. :3 IT'll be popping up here eventually.

AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, IF YOU READ, THEN REVIEW!! THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED ME, BLAH BLAH BLAH, LALALALA....

<3333

[Macaria]

THE END

[~Elisa Maza~]

*dies laughing*

Love the epilouge. Unlike Hades, I'm very grateful to Maci for this story. It's given me all sorts of blackmail.